Sweet flowers on this Club Continental bride's day
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Sweet flowers on this Club Continental bride's day

Thinking of Eloping?

Planning a wedding stressing you out?

“This is so stressful, why can’t we just go to city hall and get it over with?” this is a suggestion that is sometimes overheard by many couples, frazzled by pressure for the perfect wedding.

As a Jacksonville, Florida photographer I see a good number of couples considering eloping and some actually getting into a car and driving off into the sunset. But is this what you really want?

Step back, take a breath and read on.

Why elope?

Maybe you just don't like each other's families and really don't want to deal with it. 

Or maybe your parents and every other family and friend think they need to put in their two cents about the wedding details. And the parents are threatening to not pay for anything unless you do things their way. Like your mother-in-law like violets instead of roses on the church door. Some pressures are put on because those doing it want the best for you, but some just want a little limelight. Maybe they didn't get to make the same choices for their own day and now are doing it on yours.  

Is your partner feeling it?

Different people relate differently with their families. If you don’t particularly care for the opinions of your family and relatives, it does not mean that your partner is like that too. Your partner might be having doubts about running off, and living with the guilt of not having invited the parents to the big day. If your partner is not feeling it, do not push it. He/she will resent you, and it might be a sore spot for years to come.

Will it be forgiven?

How close are you to your parents, siblings, and friends? People who are really close to you may be hurt or feel slighted. This is more so if you come from a small closely knit family. They will not take it lightly regardless of your disclaimer that ‘it is not personal.’ Such a grudge can be carried for a long time. 

Have you tried other options?

Start by being more assertive. After all, it is your big day and ideally, your happiness should come before that of the other people. If the mother-in-law doesn’t like violets at the door, so be it. 

Can you afford it?

Maybe you're paying for the wedding or you just don't want to argue about it anymore. Maybe that money would be better used to buy a house or a new car together?